Eat, Drink and Be Angry - Part 2

I snapped my neck and glared at him. He had to be kidding right? I mean I would have HAPPILY chowed down at the barbecue place with anyone else but I had been trying to compromise with his stupid standards! As I feel my blood starting to boil I tell him that I will be happy with anyplace he chooses. He decides to pick another restaurant on the complete other side of town. Great.

As we are driving I try to make pleasant conversation when he interrupts me to announce that he forgot his reading glasses, he then also announces he has to take a piss. Somehow both of these become my fault. I mention to him we are going to pass right by his neighborhood so why doesn’t he just pop into the house, use the restroom and grab his glasses. Oh noooo, that would be far too convenient, instead he asks me to look around the car for an empty cup for him to pee in. Are you fucking serious? Shockingly, I don’t happen to have a spare piss cup in my car for him to urinate in so we continue to drive ALL the way to the restaurant with him bitching and “adjusting” himself due to the apparent pressure on his bladder.

We get to the restaurant where he heads to the restroom and I make a beeline for the bar to grab something strong enough to get me through the rest of the evening while we wait for a table to open up. During the I am waiting for my drink, Bryce walks up and mentions to me that there is a high top available in the bar area with no wait. I begrudgingly agree. I say this because I am short, and wide. High chairs with narrow seats and I don’t mix but I agree before the level of agitation continues to rise, or so I think.

The waitress comes over, hands us our menus and gives us time to decide what to order. Bryce immediately starts to cuss under his breath and slams the menu down. For some reason, I ask what the matter is. “I can’t see a fucking thing in this dark ass restaurant with these tiny fucking letters on this menu, I’m just gonna have to order a fucking hamburger and that’s not what I really want…., blah, blah, blah” So I thought of a brilliant idea! When the waitress came over and asked us if we decided what we wanted to order, I said to her “do you happen to have a pair of reading glasses in lost and found, my date forgot his” This went over like a fucking lead balloon. Bryce was apparently quite insulted by this. I then explain to the waitress that he can't see shit on the menu and I wait patiently for the next 20 minutes while she basically describes every damn item on the menu to him.

He then orders an appetizer. At this point I don’t even remember what it was but what I do remember is that it was fried or fattening or both, so I take a nibble or two because I know if I eat more than a few morsels he’ll complain about me not eating healthy and if I don’t eat any at all he’ll bitch about that too. I start to think to myself, why am I doing this again?

Thankfully another drink arrives with dinner and I’m actually excited about my lettuce wraps with a spicy sriracha sauce. I pick one up to savor the deliciousness when Bryce snaps at me “What is that? That’s too many calories for you”

First of all, fuck you. Second of all I don’t care what it is, if I order something and the first word is “lettuce” there ain’t too many fucking calories in it, and last but not least, fuck you.

Shit just got real….

Check me out next week for the conclusion of Eat, Drink and Be Angry!