It’s been awhile since I’ve felt the inspiration to write a blog. Honestly I miss the writing much more than I miss the dating, but I’m sure there are one or two of you wondering what is going on in my life so I thought I would catch you up to speed.
I have dubbed my new found disinterest in dating “Man-Cation” (I’m sure there is some TV network I’m supposed to give credit to for that catchy phrase but who it is has escaped me at the moment) I thought that I would have some new amazing discoveries or develop an interesting point of view being separated from the male species but it just doesn’t seem to have happened yet. I’m waiting.
I guess I somehow assumed that my new “fuck off” attitude would be obvious to the opposite sex and they would avoid me and let me go on my merry way. Nope. Like, in most of my blogs, I’ve turned out to be wrong. The ones that don’t really know me seem to get the drift, but the old ones… They KEEP popping up which I surely don’t understand. It’s like I’m in some kind of sick man re-cycle program. Well this girl might be going “green” but it’s only because they make me wanna puke.
While I was sleeping “Two Buck Up Chuck” apparently showed up one night and stuck a note written on half a ripped piece of paper (I’m sure some other girl was lucky enough to get the other half) and inserted it in a brown grocery sack under my windshield wiper explaining to me how he’s grown up & misses me and wishes I would give him another chance. I guess three just isn’t enough and despite the fact that this was extremely creepy knowing he was lurking outside of my house in the dark, I decided to see what kind of maturing he had done.
We had a brief conversation where he vowed to make more time for me and not be a cheap asshole anymore and that his next day off he would call me so he could take me out. I can’t wait.
Wednesday night rolls around and my phone rings sometime after 11 PM. “Ralph” asks me how I’ve been, tells me he’s calling to check on me and asks if he can some see me. “Now?” I reply. He says yeah. To which I reply “ummm, I don’t think so. Weren’t you going to take me OUT?” He says “Oh yes of course I am I’ve just been so busy and I didn’t want you to think I forgot about you.” Even in my Ambien induced state I’m NOT falling for this one. I tell him when he can make a DATE. Call me.
Saturday night arrives with another phone call from Ralph. It goes a little something like this.
Him: “Can I come see you?”
Me: Now?
Him: Yes.
Me: Hmmmm, no.
Him: Why Not?
Me: Because you don’t get to just call me after 10 on a Saturday night and assume that I’m going to drop whatever it is I’m doing for you to try to come over and convince me to give you a piece of ass. Besides, I told you NOT to call me unless you were taking me OUT.
He apologized, tells me I’m right and that he would call me in the morning to make plans. WHOA! Didn’t see that one coming. Except, he doesn’t call me in the morning. He sends me this long ass text telling me that he thought that I was going to be different this time and that he’s soo busy with work and he’s spending all his free time trying to get into modeling…(OMG, you have GOT to be fucking kidding me)
So I decided to seize my opportunity and text him back. I send him the link to my blog and I tell him that he might find “Two Buck Up Chuck” interesting. I don’t know if he read it. Frankly I don’t care, but what I do know is that he hasn’t bothered me since. Life on “Man-Cation” is good.
