There are some unwritten rules for first dates that are usually a good idea to follow. The man should generally at least offer to pay, the woman shouldn’t give it up the goods and alcohol, in my opinion, should almost always be involved.
I get an email from the sole website that I am still on telling me I’ve got mail. It’s Sunday and for the moment I don’t have a whole lot going on so I check it out. I get a message from “Matt”. He’s local and I decide to at least respond to his email and see what happens, even though his picture on the site is not particularly flattering, but I’m trying not to be shallow. After all I don’t want a man to not give me a shot just because I’m not thin.
We email back and forth a few times. He uses proper spelling and grammar which is always a pleasure and he actually asks for my phone number and if he can text me which is so rare so I decide to go for it. We get to texting, asking each other the typical “get to know you questions” what he does for a living, hobbies, pets, kids, etc….. and then his living situation comes up. He lives with his dad. I know the economy is bad, I know times are tough and people do what they have to do, and I get it. Still it’s somewhat disappointing that at 43 he still lives with mom and dad but it’s not entirely a deal breaker.
A few texts later he starts to ask about my kids, which for me is always scary. As a single parent I know I’m a package deal and yes, I understand the need for a man to know what he’s getting himself into but worry about that shit when you know you’re going to stick around for Pete’s sake. I give him very basic, non-descript information. Then he asks for their picture. WTF? You haven’t even asked for my picture yet. The creeper flag is now a flyin! I try not to jump to any conclusions but now for sure I am weirded out. I guess this gets him thinking and now he asks for my picture. No prob, I’ve got my facebook pic on my phone for just such an occasion. I then of course have to ask for his and WHOA. Really fucking hideous. I mean if I thought his picture on the website was mediocre this one is scary beyond words! I decide to end the conversation for the evening and pray I don’t have nightmares.
The next day he sends me a text at lunch telling me he’s thinking about me and hopes I have a great day and is looking forward to talking to me later. I, of course, think that’s very sweet and my black heart lightens just a little.
He texts me that evening and asks me if I would go to dinner with him. I figure one date won’t kill me. I'll at least give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean after all it is free food and drinks. Then he asks if I like Golden Corral. For those of you not familiar with this establishment, it’s a buffet style restaurant. As a large woman and someone at least mildly concerned with the sanitary conditions of my food I personally try to avoid them. I just have these visions of some snot nosed kid running around touching everything, especially the chocolate fountain. Gross. Besides, if I agree to Golden Corral on a first date where does it go when he gets comfortable? Bowling alley food? Midnight fast food run? Perhaps a steaming cup of Ramen Noodles?
And so that my friends, is the end of this little adventure, he just doesn’t know it yet. I wrestle with myself the next day on whether or not I should try to break it to him gently or take the “I don’t owe him a damn thing attitude”. I, always one to be the bigger person, at least to their face, tell him that I’m really overwhelmed with school, and work and kids, and I just decided that this really isn’t the right time for me to be dating. Which I never really know if that’s the right thing to do. I mean, maybe he’s a fragile soul and needs a woman to lie to him as to not hurt his feelings but then again maybe he’s the type that would benefit from someone actually stopping and telling him the truth. Either way ain’t my problem. Let the next bitch worry about that shit. I’m out!
