I would like to consider myself an optimist. Some people (who will remain nameless) consider me a moron. Just because I had one bad experience with Craig's List doesn't mean if I try it again that it would be bad too. Right???????
So I decide to place another ad to see what is out there. Not just for a specific event this time, but for a serious relationship. (I know now, it's Craig's List, there's no such thing) After weeding through the second round of penis pictures I actually have a few fairly decent hits. So I set up a date with one of the good ones and, OF COURSE, he stands me up. Now, I'm pissed. So I go to the next ad and basically tell this guy that I'm available, NOW. He humors me and we meet up for a movie. A real girlie movie, so I take this as a cue that he's into me. WRONG. He calls me the next day and tells me he's not looking for a serious relationship. Blah, blah, blah. Then why the hell did you answer the ad you douche? He then says that maybe, we can just be friends with benefits. UGH!!!!
My wheels turn over the next day or so and I decide that I'm not seeing anyone, so what the hell? I take him up on his offer. We meet at his place. He invites me in and there are sheets everywhere. Like in the package. Boxfuls of them. Apparantly, he's unemployed, but he sells sheets on E-bay. Grrreeeaaatttt. Thankfully though, he's pretty damn good at what he does and I'm able to forget about this for awhile. He even managed to teach this old dog some new tricks and well, at least the bed always had clean sheets. Which is pretty damn hard to find in a bachelor pad.
The problem is that my idea of FRIENDS with benefits is different than his idea of friends with BENEFITS. There is no "friends" in this deal. It's not like I want to move in or meet his parents or anything but how about a freakin movie and a microwave bag of popcon from time to time? It can even be an HBO special! I'm a low maintenance gal. Something, besides porn.
So I never called "sheety guy". I just let him call me when the mood strikes him and for some reason this brings me some degree of satisfaction. Makes me feel like I have a "one up" on the deal, even though I still cringe everytime the asshole calls me. And call me he does. For the better part of two years. I allow this to continue because I actually wind up having a decent time when I go over there and oh, there are the free sets of sheets that come my way from every once in a while.
So what does that say about me? Well some people (who are still remaining nameless) would say that this makes me a pathetic loser. I say that it means that I have a healthy sex drive that would dry up waiting for Mr. Right to wander his way into my life.
So the next time he calls, yes I will cringe because I know I'll eventually be headed over to his personal version of Linens & Things for a roll in the 800 thread count "hay" but I will be happy knowing that at the end of the night I will go home, with a smile on my face and get into my own bed, and hope that the next time that he calls that Mr. Right will have shown up and I can finally tell him once and for all that he can just go fuck himself this time.
