The Green Eyed Monster. What an interesting creature he is. I’ve never really understood the concept of jealousy in dating. You either want me or you don’t. And at the beginning of a budding relationship do we really have enough invested in each other to evoke this kind of strong emotion? I don’t think so, but not everyone shares my opinion.
Take Antonio. Another dating website drone. I had actually seen him previously on another website and he never even gave me the time of day. Which is why I was so intrigued when he instantly contacted me on the new dating website du jour. He told me that I was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen on the website and was eager to get to know me. I was glad we were talking on line so he couldn’t see my eyes rolling.
We decided to meet on a Sunday so we could watch some football and eat some chicken wings at a bar. Within minutes he was trying to kiss me across the table. If he was totally hot maybe I wouldn’t have minded, but he wasn’t. I survived the date and he asked me on a second. I decided to give it another shot thinking maybe it was just nerves.
We went to a night club where I was watching people enjoying themselves on the dance floor. I had a few drinks and was having a good time when my date came up behind me and started doing a little grinding. Hey, the music was loud, the drinks were strong so I started dancing back. Antonio suddenly got weird(er) and wanted to leave. Okay? As soon as we get outside he freaks. Starts talking about how I didn’t even turn around, how I had NO idea who was behind me. What he didn’t know is that I haven’t been hit on in public, EVER, much less had someone rub themselves all over me. He tells me that he’s a very jealous person and doesn’t appreciate me acting like that.
Be jealous if someone is winking at me from across the bar. Be jealous if someone has smacked me in the ass. Be jealous when a swarm of Chippendale dancers have surrounded me and want to have their way with me but DON’T be jealous on a second date. Especially when the person your pissed about dancing with me, was you.
He thankfully stops calling so I don’t have to blow him off. Stops calling for awhile that is. When he finally starts calling again he tells me that his mother died & he went to New York to take care of the arrangements. That now that he’s home he wants to get back together with his girl since he’s lost everything else. Wow. I kinda feel like an ass.
I feel bad until during one of our calls he tells me that he wants to come and see me. To “be” with me before he has to leave for New York again. When I ask why he’s going back to New York he tells me that he has to go take care of his mom. What? Isn’t she dead? I didn’t really ask him because I sensed that I wasn’t going to get a straight answer anyway. I figured that this was just a not so clever scheme to get into my pants and that WASN’T going to happen. I decline his offer and wish him well on his new life up north.
A few weeks later I’m listening to a local talk show on the radio and I hear his unmistakable voice. Oh, I’m sorry did I mention that the talk show was LOCAL? As in NOT in New York? The funny thing is that he was talking about his cheesecake recipe. I don’t remember him ever mentioning he was a baker. He probably stole the recipe right out of his mother’s kitchen. She’d probably be so jealous knowing that he was sharing her secret recipes with everyone that she would roll over in her grave. That is if she really is dead. Guess I’ll never know
